It started getting ridiculous. There were so many men messaging. So many with different stories, yet the same. Every day I would go in to work with new names of the men who messaged me. It was suggested I start a spreadsheet because they were having a hard time keeping track. To be honest, so was I!
One night I opened an Excel spreadsheet and started. I put their screen name, where they supposedly live, where they were really located, which site I ‘met’ them on, and added the ‘when do they return’ column. Most of the return dates were 3 – 4 weeks and many of them were retiring when they returned.
I can’t believe the men who list their location as MA or NH but are really located elsewhere. Looking at my spreadsheet while typing this, an example of this is the following: One guy lives in Back Bay, we talked for about 12 days and set up a day to meet. His work story was a little suspect, but I went with it. He wasn’t using AI to reply to texts. He did go out of the country for a week and was flying back home the day before our ‘date’. The morning of his flight, I sent him a text and wished him a safe flight. He thanked me. He was going to stop to see his grandchildren on the way home. Once he supposedly landed, I sent the text to enjoy his time with the grands. He said he will. The morning of our date, he texts me that his partner is ripping him off and he couldn’t fly back. He had to stay there, out of the country, for another week or two for the sale of his company.
Hmmm…. Did you not know this before? Did you just pretend to fly back and go see your grandchildren? Because you told me you were having fun. He told me he was ‘really hurt for disappointing us’. ‘I have counted the days, waited for this moment then all of a sudden, we have to postpone. I’m deeply hurt.’ My reaction was ‘oh brother’. There are so many more stories like this, but I’ll save that for another post.
When I was done with my spreadsheet, I had 14 men listed. I printed it out and kept notes. I needed that spreadsheet! I found multiple profiles for one person. They were all different names; Steve, Allen, John & Peter, the pictures were of the same person which is how I knew. He listed different heights and ages, a couple had kids while the others did not. I did say something to him when I found the first duplicate profile. He insisted someone stole his pictures. The thing is that the pictures were of the same man but only 1 picture was the same. I was done. I did come across 2 other profiles of his and just shook my head. It’s amazing what men do.
On the spreadsheet, I ran out of room. I had to write on the back side as well. It was actually very helpful. I sent a message once to someone and messed up who I was talking to. Eeeks!
I’m not using the spreadsheet now, because I have been able to weed out the phonies. Am I talking to anyone? Yes. How do I feel about the prospect? Time will tell. I have spoken to him on the phone and on video, and I get ‘right now’ pictures. ALWAYS tasteful. So, I know he is who he says he is.
I must say again, I am glad to be in a good place in my life. I am pretty sure I would not be able to handle this if I wasn’t. If you decide to start dating, take precautions. If I send a picture to someone, there is NOTHING identifying in the background. And the pictures aren’t something I would be embarrassed about if they got out. They will never know where I work or live, they won’t know my kids or grandkids names or ever see a picture of them. I tell them what kind of work I do but never details that might let them find me. Once meeting them, if there is a connection and we want to continue seeing each other, it would be a different story. When I was dating many years before, I never let any man meet my children unless we began to get serious. I care too much about myself and my kids and grandkids to put us all in danger.
Be safe!
PS. All names have been changed to protect the…well, can’t call them innocent.
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